I start to write today as a means of self-exploration - often thoughts which are latent and in the subconscious get better crystallized when put into words - a process which I shy away from mostly due to my laziness. Anyway, I've been thinking about what really makes me tick.... what makes me feel good about the world around me, about myself and what I am doing. The answer is quite clear - it's 'growth' expressed in a multitude of forms, contexts and meanings. A sub theme which I positively emotionally associate with is that of 'healing'. Therefore to see growth and healing manifest themselves sparks off joy, wonder, satisfaction and most importantly hope in me.

I have a collection of plants in my house - every day when I spot a new leaf, a new bud or a flower blossom, my heart does a tiny little dance. However low I may be feeling, seeing nature grow this way cheers me up instantly. There are times when I forget to water my plants; on occasion I have been away and have neglected them, but what really amazes me is that after those couple of days when they have been left thirsty, when I do water them again, they renew themselves with astonishing vigour. The drooping leaves turn skyward again, and the green returns to their being. I cannot express the delight i feel when I see this happen. I also find myself observing the growth of all kinds of creatures with wonder and joy. I follow the growth of even a creature such as a lizard (which I am not particularly fond of) with curiosity and anticipation - I know for example the favourite corners of the many 'lizardlings' in my house and I have watched them grow into expert insect zappers :-) I love the friskiness of little pups and their boundless energy and also their transformation into older, warm bundles of fur, fiercely loyal and utterly devoted to their caregivers. I can recount many instances of seeing wounded cows and dogs with no animal hospital and no animal doctors to take care of them, heal themselves in various ways. I cannot even begin to describe the intensely satisfying process of watching a baby grow. In all, the process of physical growth itself with its attendant process of healing is so marvellously expressed in nature that I am always left humbler and happier for having seen it.

Recently, my brother became the father of a baby boy. This is the first time I have had a chance to see a newborn at such close quarters. Every time I hold him, I think about the tremendous possibilities that lie before him. I would not call this a maternal instinct as much as it is my fascination to watch the unfolding of immense mental, physical and emotional processes. It is this fascination which has given rise to my interest in the educational process. I think that much of what we call education in India is a misnomer for the systematic infusion of vast amounts of information, with little thought given as to how to equip the receiver with the skills to use this information. Here I see growth stunted, not provided an enabling environment for it to flourish.

Another point - growth cannot be uni-dimensional, only of the intellect without regard for emotional and spiritual growth. One of the critical ways in which i think our education system fails to create all-round growth is the lack of emphasis on working with our hands. Throughout my schooling, I cant remember too much time spent on learning to create things with our hands or to simply use our hands and bodies towards some definable end (other than sports). In my interactions with people from diverse backgrounds, I have found this to be an important differentiating factor. People who use their hands as well as their intellect, say even in simple ways such as cooking, household chores, creating objects of art and handicrafts, playing an instrument, even repairing machinery and appliances, seem to be on the whole more satisfied and less prone to stress than those who use solely their intellect (the entire class of people who spend about 70-80% of their waking time in front of computers, paper and other sources of information constitute the latter category). I have not done much research on this, but my own logic and personal experience tells me that the reason why people who work with their hands (both on the job and off it) are more satisfied, is perhaps the element of direct feedback and the engagement of many senses at once that such activities provide. For eg, when I cook, my senses of smell, hearing, sight, taste, and touch are brought into play. Contrast this with for instance reading where apart from the intellect, the only sense stimulated notably is that of sight. I am certainly not advocating giving up reading, but what I want to convey is that for overall growth, our bodies and our minds must be stimulated. And the education process must emphasise this in no small measure.

So after all this gyaan, I have come to realise (or rather the realization preceded the gyaan) that for me to get real and lasting happiness I have to in some way watch growth and enable it. There is a seed of an idea in my mind as to how I will make this happen - growth in nature, growth in individuals, and my personal growth as a result of these. I'm not going to reveal much else on this space until something concrete actually materialises. Till then, keep reading, doing stuff and growing.